I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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