Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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