just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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