Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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