we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
