xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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