Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
