No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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