I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lo siento on account of my penis...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
