I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
