everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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