Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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