All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
