You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
well you can't waste a boner
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
