This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
