I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
