They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I did not marry a roomba.
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