At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
