I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
