I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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