i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
