just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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