All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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