I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
