Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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