It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
