Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
