Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
