does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
its liver damage thursday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
