Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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