I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize