I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
