im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
