margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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