You're my little dorito
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
