In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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