yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
