it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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