Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
