I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
