very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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