He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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