i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
