Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
