She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize