bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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