What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
