just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
