she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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