I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize