I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want her autograph on my taint
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
