just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
