singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize