I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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