paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
