i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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