i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
