Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
