How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Im part way to drunk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize