***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We need to get me chipped asap
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
