so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
