So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
