I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Houston, we have a squirter
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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