I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
