Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
